Matthew 7: 5-6     …5" You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.6 "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

1 Timothy 2:3-5       …3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,…

I have heard both of these passages of scripture repeatedly for most of my life. I've heard them used in and out of the proper context over a period of time. I most recently had my own experience with the passage of Matthew.

I have to say that I am not always mindful of scripture. I periodically practice the fine art of rationalization and justification and I go deep with it. But for the most part I am straight forward with my “insanity”; majority of family and friends will tell you that if I say I’m going to do something you can best believe it will get done! With that being said, I was upfront about what I was doing and what I wanted to happen….it was my will and not God’s but I have to say I didn't hide or veil it in any way. Now, please don’t get me wrong , I am by no means glorifying myself or my actions…wrong is wrong…but I was so off into my stuff that I didn't grasp the entire situation; I didn't look at the big picture. The situation blew up in a very big way because I was off on my cloud asking God to honor something that He could not and in the meantime I’m “casting my pearls.” 

God was already dealing with my head and heart in the situation but I overrode the conviction and did “that thing” any way….and now I’m like FEMA accessing the self-inflicted damage. I get it Lord…my hypocrisy and double minded approach to what I know to be true will NOT be blessed. I cannot serve me and serve you as well…..as my Catholic friends pray “ I am heartily sorry for  having offended thee” my most humble and sincere apologies to the victims who got caught my shrapnel spray…

Lessons learned: I cannot operate on self-will no matter how honest I am about my intentions and actions.

I cannot expect others to respect my faith walk and experience if they do not share the same set of beliefs and constructs.